corfan01

I know everything there is to know about food. I know how often I should eat, what to eat, what’s good to eat before a workout, after a workout, calories, fat, fiber. I know everything. What I don’t know is why I binge. There’s no middle ground for me. I’m either perfect or out of control. I wish I knew why. I hate that there has to be a reason. I hate admitting that I might not have control over it. I don’t want to place the blame on anything or anyone other than myself. I just wish I knew why.

There’s a doctor about 45 minutes away from here, she deals with eating disorders… including overeating. I kind of want to see her.

On a lighter note, I had an awful day yesterday. I know it sounds bizarre. But I think it was so awful because I skipped the gym. Makes me want to keep going :).

I had an intramural basketball game tonight. I’m on a team with my roommates and a couple of other girls. I was huffing and puffing but I kept up. We lost by 26 points, it was hysterical, but we did play a team of athletes. We play every Monday night.